Thirteen Days
by somewhereinthedreams
Summary: It would be easy to blame the drugs, but Mike has to own up to what he said to Paige the night of his intervention. Spoilers for Season 3: Episode 8, Savior Complex


**A/N: Another mini-fic.**

 **Prompt: things you said when I was scared from thedepartedfairy**

* * *

Mike nervously looked at Paige when he entered the kitchen. Paige looked up and once she saw him approaching the table, she started gathering up her things, intent on avoiding him like she had been for the past few weeks.

 _"You don't get to talk to me! Unless you want to talk about why I started using in the first place."_

His hurtful words still rang in his ears. He wanted to say it had been the drugs talking. He had forgiven her. At least he thought he did. Maybe he hadn't.

His head was clearer now. It had been almost two weeks since he took his last pill. There was still some pain, but he was trying to manage as best as he could. Some days were easier than others, but the more time that passed the easier it became. Even though he was sure one more pill would ease his pain.

The details surrounding his detox were blurry. In order to save his career, he had been adamant about not entering a treatment facility and detoxed from home. He wouldn't have gotten through it without everyone's support. Including Paige's.

" _You can beat this, Mike. The first few days are the worst, but if you get through today. That's one day. Then tomorrow is another day. Then that's two days. I know you can do this."_

Despite what he said to her, she sat by his bedside, watching over him and encouraging him when he felt like his world was closing in on him and he wanted to give up. On _life_. Give _in_ to the pills.

Everyone must have taken shifts or something, because he was pretty sure he was never left alone. There was always someone nearby in case he needed something. But the one thing he thought he needed was the one thing no one would give him, no better how much he begged and pleaded.

" _You're stronger than this," Paige quietly said, stroking his forehead with a cool washcloth while he begged for a pill to ease his suffering. "You're not a little kid with big dreams anymore, you're living your dream. You just need to get past this."_

Maybe a bullet hadn't killed him, but he had been sure detoxing from the pills would and his last thing he would see was the ceiling of his bedroom at Graceland. The pain was unbearable and he seriously considered agreeing to go to a facility just so he could run and find some pills the moment everyone let their guards down.

Then he thought of how many times he had failed over the past year. His career was in shambles and he was so desperate for a win he was chasing birds from a vision he had when he was technically dead. His love life was a toxic wasteland, so much so that his ex wanted him dead because of all the lies he told. He destroyed everything he touched. He was a failure. But he couldn't give up. Maybe he failed too many times to count, but he couldn't let Sid win. Popping another pill meant Sid won and he couldn't let that happen.

Somehow he found the strength to admit he had a problem, but stubbornly wanted to go cold turkey. And when he lacked the strength to continue, he had Briggs handcuff him to his bed so he couldn't leave.

"Can I fix you anything?" Paige quickly asked, getting up. "There's still some soup from the other day. Or I think Johnny has a sandwich in here if you want. I can order something for you. Have you eaten? You should be eating." Paige opened the fridge and handed him a bottle of water. "You're also supposed to stay hydrated."

The words tumbled from her lips as she rambled.

She always rambled when she was nervous.

"You sat with me," Mike simply said, taking a drink of water.

Paige nodded. "It was the least I could do. Considering - "

"What I said - "

"Don't apologize to me, okay? You're right. I'm the one - "

"When I said I forgave you, I meant it."

"Just because you forgave me, it doesn't erase what I did. I'm the reason you left the hospital early. If it hadn't been for me - "

"I checked myself out of the hospital. I lied to the doctor to be cleared for duty. I stole Charlie's pills. That was all me." His brain felt clear for the first time in weeks. He could take ownership for his choices. He was the one that chose to deal with his pain by popping pills. Paige made plenty of bad decisions but she didn't put those pills in his hand.

"You can't keep protecting me," Paige whispered, stepping away from him.

"I'm sorry for what I said that night," Mike said, moving to stand behind her. After everything they had done to each other, been to each other, he would always feel a need to protect her. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe he was messed up. But he would.

Paige wasn't in the same headspace she had been months ago. She had slowly worked on making peace with what she did. But then everything happened with Colby and she was working with Briggs because she felt guilty.

"Don't apologize to me." Paige reached up to swipe at her eyes. "I deserve - "

"You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," Paige tearfully said, turning around to hug him. "I'm sorry for everything."

Mike wrapped his arms around Paige, tightly hugging her. There was too much hurt and pain between them to ever be what they once were. But maybe that _version_ of them wasn't meant to be. He wasn't sure what the future held for them, if it held anything for them.

Looking forward had gotten him into trouble before. He couldn't do that now. The oxy was no longer in his system, but it still preoccupied his thoughts. The cravings were still there. Maybe they would always be there.

But so far he had made it thirteen days.

THE END


End file.
